Sunday, April 10, 2011

Very Sad Sunday

If you are following my blog or have read my post from yesterday, you know that my aunt has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  I spent most of my day crying, sitting outside alone and avoiding being around my family.  I know this may seem wrong to many of you, but when you receive such horrible news you must take time to clear your head, wrap your mind around what is happening in your life and just get yourself together so you can face a new day.

It has taken every ounce of energy I can muster just to take a bite of food without wanting to throw up.  It was difficult to get dressed and all I wanted to do was sit and hold my children and pray for a day when cancer is eliminated from the world and hope my children never have to deal with the evil emotions cancer puts one through.

I finally got up the energy to call my aunt and discuss her Breast Cancer.  I asked a million questions and cried even more.  I told her how scared I was and how sorry I was that she had to face cancer yet again; she recently had surgery due to Kidney Cancer.  I expressed my worries and my fears.  We discussed preventative measures for women and the procedures she would have to endure.  It was a long conversation but it did me some good.  It made me face reality and expressing my worries and my fears actually helped me to accept the situation.  I made a promise, a promise I will keep.  I promised to call my doctor tomorrow to see if I can get in to have a mammogram.  Now that we have a 'history' of Breast Cancer in our family I don't think my doctor will push me to the way side and make light of the situation.

After I got off of the phone with my aunt, I sat and talked about the cancer with my husband.  I told him my plan to call my doctor in the morning and he supported my decision.  I also expressed my concerns about my nieces, my sister, my mother, my cousins and my aunts and their chance of getting Breast Cancer.  We aren't sure if this is an isolated incident or if Breast Cancer will now run in our family, but the fear is there just the same.  I want all of the women in my family to be prepared and take preventative measures to ensure early detection.  I have always been a huge supporter of Breast Cancer awareness but now that it has hit home it's even more important to me.

After the emotions I have been through the past few days, I have made a decision.  I vow to wear something pink every single day until my aunt goes into remission.  I don't care if it's a shirt, shorts, bra, earrings, hair bow, ring, bracelet, eye shadow or nail polish, I will have something pink on my person at the start of each new day.  I will show my support for those that have Breast Cancer and those that are now in remission.  I will speak with others about Breast Cancer and I will try to make sure others realize how very important it is to do your self exams and get in to see your doctor to make sure you are healthy.  Breast Cancer used to be a cause I supported but now it will become part of my life.  If I can change the mind of just one woman then I have done my job.

Yesterday I had no idea how I was going to handle life after finding out my aunt could lose her life, but today is a new day.  I have had time to think, time to cry, time to pray and time to put my thoughts in order.  I didn't think anything good could come out of such tragic news, but I now know that God has a plan for me.  He is using my sadness to ensure others stay protected and take care of themselves.  I used to support Breast Cancer research, a promise I made to my late mother-in-law, but now it needs to be a way of life.  I used to think, "This could NEVER happen to us, we don't have a history of Breast Cancer in our family.", but reality has set in and I now know that Breast Cancer does NOT discriminate, it does not care who you are, who your family is or that it has never been in your family, it CAN happen to you!  From this day forward I shall take my anger, worry and my fear and direct it into something more positive.  Yes, I'm sure there will be days when it's difficult for me to accept what God has sent our way, and I will shed a few tears and have a few worries, but with enough love, support and prayer we will make it through this difficult time.

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